Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML
Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
plaguer 26
She was probably just as embarrassed.
yoimtrollin 24
These are the kind of things that stay with you for the rest of your life. Sorry you had to hear that OP
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
Lillith_fml 5
and that's why, in the UK, we try and provide people with an independent interpreter so that kids (of variable ages) don't have to listen about their mothers' vaginas.
morella_xx 29
Many American clinics do the same, but OP's mom might speak an uncommon language, making it hard to find an interpreter. Or she just asked OP to come along because she would be more comfortable with her child translating.
pattayarick 8
I'm sure that her doctor ask some of those questions just so he could get a good laugh later on.
Scynistr 20
I'm not sure about where you live.. But most doctors offices / ER's out where I live has a list of languages on a sign you can pick from for them to call their own translator.. Anyway.. That sucks op.. Some things just can't be unlearned.
iChompYa 18
Their is nothing more terrifying than crossing over into our parents sexual life, i feel your pain OP
peanutfoo 19
You thought nothing could go wrong?! But seriously, FYL
Archay 13
Yoda last part of your sentence it was
KChubs 12
I would not wish that fate on the worst of my enemies.
TechFire 25
No, not at all. You need to reread it
vladimirnabokov 15
Haha I'm sorry, OP. Unfortunately, my mom is too close to me and tells me too-personal things as well and English is her language... I can relate.
worldclassrager 41
Like what can be seen cannot be unseen...this case is what can be heard cannot be unheard...