Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
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Top comments
Codezlol 21
Your dad needs to mime his own business
michaelaranda 28
Sorry about all the trouble op. Hopefully your dad will pay you back the bail and will be appreciative for your help. Everyone makes mistakes when theyre drunk. Not an excuse or justification.
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Comments (70)
spike7447 13
You should've had his back... ?
LTSMKASTRY 5
Next time don't bail him out, it matters not that he is your dad. That behavior needs to be punish and by bailing him out you are saying: 'hey keep being an ass I will avoid letting you be punish every time.'
awkwardeer 26
This is probably the greatest FML I've ever read.
DarkRealmGolem 9
"******* bastard was playing mind games" I'm sorry but I found that comment hilarious. but seriously I hope he pays you back and thinks about what he did.
someguyhere 12
He did what we all wish we could do... god bless that man!
The_Skittish_One 27
I feel so bad for you and the mime :( I have spent the past two weeks approximately trying to cope with an alcoholic family member. It has not been fun, but at least they have not been violent. I hope that your dad can get the help that he needs, that you can get support that you need (because it is a very stressful situation!), and that the mime heals up quick.
DarkSideOfBlack 2
That may be my favorite FML I've ever read. Thank you, op, for brightening up my night^^
Amberosia 10
Are you sure he wasn't just playing "mime" games?