Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. Some kids started fighting and screaming at each other, so I leaned next to her and said, "Man, am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
KusanagiStyle 3
Why is everyone so serious? Fact, the boy that pissed on the couch has autism. OP wasn't like FUKKEN AUTISTIC SHIT PISSED ON THE COUCH, AUTISTIC PISS EATS THROUGH MAI GUCCI BAG! FML! Why are we reading into it like that? If anything OP is pissed at the kids without autism who aren't socially crippled. Why? Because they WERE fully capable of saying that to OP BEFORE they sat down on the couch. Or even the parents. I'm sure they knew but choose to say nothing. Out of sight, out of mind. I understand people have members in their family who have handicaps (MY OWN SISTER thank you) but not every thing said about some one with a handicap needs to be a fight, good lord!
sadistmonkey 19
Yes it does make a difference. If they didn't include the autistic part, I'm sure there would be tons of commenters going "wtf is wrong with that kid? why would he piss on the couch?"
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Comments (82)
Schwarzenegger87 0
Autism is a permanent disability, a lifelong struggle for anyone who has it. I'm not sure of which type of autism you have (I know there are several types that fall under the "autism umbrella"), but one of my siblings has it and he has never been able to speak even a sentence let alone a conversation, and his communication skills have gotten worse and worse over the years due to the autism (they were bad to begin with). It's a shame I will never really know him and he is 21 years old now. So autism has a completely different meaning to me than it does to you unfortunately. "Autistic kid" is just like "cancer kid", why does cancer kid sound bad? Does kid who has cancer sound better? Because your acknowledging the individual before his disease/disability. Another similar topic which shouldn't be HALF as sensitive but it is for some is their race or ethnicity. Oh you mean the Jewish guy? Oh yeah the black kid! Less important and sensitive but still sounds better when you say it AFTER the person. It is not WHO you are it is at most a part of you. If you can honestly say you would rather be labeled as "autistic kid" than "kid who is autistic / has autism", then your the only one.
CAPTmok 7
well, that was good lecture.....thumbs up!!
xxheeyyyxx 0
um i would like to point out that autistic kid is more like cancerous kid not cancer kid. cancer kid would be like autism kid. but i basically agree with you
thoughtcriminal7 3
Yeah, F YOUR life, not the child or the family who has to suffer through autism all their lives. Poor you. You're a selfish ass.
QueenOrangeSoda 21
What is this "suffering" you speak of? I'm on the autistic spectrum, and both my family members and I are far from suffering. Though I will admit, it's an unpredictable road.
BelleBelle_fml 11
I believe you missed the whole point of the FML.
darcieslegit12 0
maybe you should go take a shower
jwolfr1 7
My Autistic brother doesnt pee on the couch. Instead he chooses to "paint with his poop" on the couch, on his clothes, his face, and anything else around him
pharmacy 1
Relax fool. She wasn't making fun of the kid. Learn to interpret shit better.
ItsAUnicorn 27
I'm autistic too, we discovered it at age 14, but I have never done anything like that. Eventually, it's still the way you raise your kids and learn them what is 'normal' and what is not. So, FYL because the parents haven't taught the kid in a normal way not to pee on the couch.
mollyjynxjax 28
You have no idea what you are talking about! It doesn't matter what you teach an autistic kid, if their autism is severe enough, they won't listen/don't understand!
thes7274473 19
Pretty sure autism doesn't make kids pee on couches…