Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. Some kids started fighting and screaming at each other, so I leaned next to her and said, "Man, am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
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Top comments
KusanagiStyle 3
Why is everyone so serious? Fact, the boy that pissed on the couch has autism. OP wasn't like FUKKEN AUTISTIC SHIT PISSED ON THE COUCH, AUTISTIC PISS EATS THROUGH MAI GUCCI BAG! FML! Why are we reading into it like that? If anything OP is pissed at the kids without autism who aren't socially crippled. Why? Because they WERE fully capable of saying that to OP BEFORE they sat down on the couch. Or even the parents. I'm sure they knew but choose to say nothing. Out of sight, out of mind. I understand people have members in their family who have handicaps (MY OWN SISTER thank you) but not every thing said about some one with a handicap needs to be a fight, good lord!
sadistmonkey 19
Yes it does make a difference. If they didn't include the autistic part, I'm sure there would be tons of commenters going "wtf is wrong with that kid? why would he piss on the couch?"
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Comments (82)
joshswensoon15 0
that sucks hahah
hnz 13
at least now you know how to punish them
77taylah33 0
Thats your fml?!? Today my autistic brother peed on the couch for the 10th time today. Fml.
lolbrick 0
you should expect, you're commenting...
perdix 31
You should have pissed on that couch to mark it as your property. I hear that's how bears get free laptops.
Lpfan55 0
I see what you did there.
florenzfang 0
lol that's another FML
lolbrick 0
i lol'd
FYLbeast 2
at least it wasn't wet lol
motero 0
ewweww ur butt probably smells all uriny
iloveeyouuxD 9
What are you, 10?
xNeonlights 0
it's an fml for them too.
Schiffy 18
hopefully you didn't actually have to take care of 3 kids without realizing.
manz_fml 0
you shouldnt have to baby sit your own kids .... its called parenting