Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML
Sara777boo tells us more.
This is my post, and let me explain :) I didn't realize it had fallen under the bed from the last nights sexy time. My dog found it and took it to her room before I even knew. But oh did my husbands fried spot it right away!
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
ironhead_fml 20
How many times have I told you? Put up your toys when your finished playing with them.
angiemarie96 25
Better than chewing the real thing
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Comments (46)
angiemarie96 25
Better than chewing the real thing
Earths_Venus 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'll bet it was *****-licious!
spatula232 25
Why? Just why?
swaggalikethat 22
And they used to say dogs mouths were cleaner than humans'...
NeatNit 33
#33, you bitch! :3 (disclaimer: bitch means female dog. don't chew me out for this!)
VanessaNal 13
Oh my.
lnheritance 19
I would've lied and said it was those mint chewies for dogs, since he seemed to not know.
octinate 17
Oh that neighbor knew exactly what it was, he was just waiting for the owner to realise and get it back so he could find out who it belonged to
tashb 17
Your dog is such a dick for that.
ironhead_fml 20
How many times have I told you? Put up your toys when your finished playing with them.
octinate 17
I'm guessing she did and the dog found it in her hiding place
xR3cKl3sSx 12
Looks like cats aren't the only ones that like fish
cjwayy 22
That's disgusting. Vaginas don't smell like fish unless you have a yeast infection or something, and even then it's not really that fishy. Sometimes women just have natural vaginal odors, and it doesn't mean they're "dirty". Vaginas have their own self-cleaning process, and if you just wash yourself with non-scented soap, everything should be fine. I'm so sick of people making fish jokes about female genitalia because it's not ******* accurate at all.
sweetnsourrr 11
Calm the **** down, its just a joke. jeezz..
JRT98 12
#26 Your response seems fishy to me, that was obviously a joke.
Omegapi197 12
Did the joke hit a little too close to home for you? If so go contact your gyno before the problem gets out of hand. Then you can put and end to your "fishy" problem.
AHzulu 25
Spot the Feminazi...
octinate 17
Overreaction but it's true...if there's a fish smell stay away, that means something ain't right
Sigilwen 24
#26 if you over react that much to a joke the internet is not the place for you. Even being true that's a joke that's been around a long time and it probably won't be changing any time soon. I'm sure there is some annoying comparison you use that's false as well.
tanabanana13 14
Menstruation causes a fishy smell, even if you don't have a yeast infection.
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
I bet you give the dog shit for spreading his toys all over the house. Your setting a bad example
BobbieH 19
If the dog can get it you didn't put it away properly! Better find a new spot that the dog can't get into and make sure to put it there after you've finished with it!
Sangue0608 26
though that one needs some serious cleaning if not replaced...
Sigilwen 24
I keep all my private personal things in a small lock box They aren't expensive and it keeps kids,pets, and others you don't want to see away from it.
zevo1415 10
You need to think long and hard about where youre gonna hide your ***** next time
FML_14u2c 14
Long and hard, LOL!
spatula232 25
*sigh*
ThisIsSoOriginal 12
I'm really curious as to where the ***** was, although I know that dogs have the talent of getting into where they don't belong. Oh well, FYL OP, but I'd suggest getting a new hiding spot!
brandoneyez1 25
I suggest getting a new *****. Dog probably destroyed it. Even if not I don't think it would be sanitary.
False_Stupidity 42
It is possible to sanitize things you know, especially ****** which are often made of silicone and designed to be cleanable.
Drfucked 9
Then why can't you return them hmmmm?
MisterGasMoney 16
Why would someone return a *****? It's not like it wouldn't work properly or anything.
Phoebe18 14
Undies can be washed but you wouldn't wear someone else undies, right? Just like you wouldn't use someone's sex toy that they have used. And if you would, you should probably get a lesson on personal hygiene
mageepaigeee44 15
You can return ****** actually. Never owned one but I know people who have.
Lil_Red777 21
Because why the **** would anyone want to use a used *****??? That's gross.
23lf 16
Dogs have a thing with chewing on them, according to FML
tournamentdecide 33
Them and used tampons, apparently.
simplysarcastics 26
#8 Instead of reading dog I read dong.. Well looks like this fml has dirtied my mind. I have had enough for a while. *Puts phone down, shakes head, douches brain.
RusticChick 27
Must've gone on a hunt after he smelt somethin' funny...
tbro47 23
Maybe he got annoyed by you stealing all of his toys and saving them where he couldn't get to them so he decided to steal one of yours that he always saw you playing with.