Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML
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Top comments
letsgooo_fml 23
Depending on what you're in court for, the chocolate wrapper may be right.
shaww 28
OP stole a balloon on free balloon day
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Comments (63)
TheBackgroundKid 5
That's kinda funny I probably would have just laughed a little.
shortemogirl 10
Maybe it could mean your meant to be part if the judicial system... There's always a positive side
StzaCrack666 18
a single chocolate? sounds like your boyfriend is a cheap bastard.
kaybrown122 2
That's so messed up!
DeeDeeJay 15
Maybe it's a sign?
Raluxa 21
Those chocolates with the quotes are assholes. On valentines day I picked one of those chocolates up for myself (being single) and it told me to "be my own valentine." -_-
darkfireflame 15
Prophetic, but don't take it too serious.
worldclassrager 41
Sometimes you can believe the wrapper but at times it may be better not to...
WTF_BRAIN 11
Maybe you'll become a lawyer?
ziya1999 12
How does it matter? As long as you get to eat the chocolate!