Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I went out to buy my wife some flowers and a chocolate bar that I overhead she liked the other day. On the way home, I was complimented on the bouquet I chose and feeling pretty good about myself. When I got home it turned out I got the wrong kind of flowers and the wrong percent of dark chocolate. FML
Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML
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Top comments
letsgooo_fml 23
Depending on what you're in court for, the chocolate wrapper may be right.
shaww 28
OP stole a balloon on free balloon day
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Comments (63)
conman531 23
Who cares, had chocolate
KissMyAnthia200 12
What brand of chocolate was it?
buttcramp 21
probably Dove
glabberfasted 16
I think Dove has those little quotes on the wrappers, like fortune cookies.
mpkpm 19
Wrapper knew you were there for stealing chocolates..
wanted_2_want 40
What did you do for a Klondike?
JamoB 7
Go to court...
mekoveya 10
Try not to think of it as a piece of chocolate that was calling you out for needing to be in court, but rather as piece of chocolate that was commending you for taking responsibility and showing up.
DanielleinDC 34
Or just a piece of chocolate to calm your nerves. The quote was just an unfortunate coincidence.
edward713 0
Well, you did have to appear in *court* and not in *jail*. Sounds more like you should be a judge/lawyer/cop to me. I wouldn't say that's a bad thing!
glabberfasted 16
Or one of those artists who draw scenes of court rooms!
glabberfasted 16
I definitely thought this FML was headed towards a laxative one at first.
w_pony_4ever 15
Omg I thought I was the only one! Phew!
glabberfasted 16
Any kind of chocolate on FML is always suspicious.
FracturedMinds 21
Okay. I'm curious. Why are you in court? This needs a follow up.
lenehey 7
OP - The chocolate wrapper was right. You should have been in court and you were were you needed to be. But don't read too much into that. You only needed to be there for as long as it took, and no longer. Now you have the rest of your life and hopefully will never need to go back again. And, the next time you open a chocolate, and it reads that you are right where you shpuld be, lets hope it's a pleasant place, like a beach, or the mall, or driving down a long stretch of open road with someone you love.
Spyderbane 10
it's better then forgetting about court, reading that, then realizing you now have a warrant for your arrest.