Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
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Comments (194)
insertclevername_fml 0
lmao. that's great
xxRachaelxx 0
Lmao that was truely amazing
MikeG023 0
ok really htf did u come up with that
DJ_Chutfield 4
shitface YDI
Wlollpop 0
This is why you cover your mounth with your elbow
Rebap 4
a poopy tissue is better than no tissue at all :)
jabuuty671 0
Talk about a fake FML. Since when does anybody sneeze out of their mouth? ...noob
him51772 0
Are you actually like a downer? thats the stupidest thing ive ever heard. You sneeze and you cover your nose/mouth with a tissue it will get both. Yur a ******* noob you dumbass, either get a brain or dont troll either way yur ******* stupid
ThatOneDude25 0
hey, i usually sneeze with my mouth, cuz if my nose is really stuffed and i have no tissue i just like let the force of the air out of my mouth so snot doesnt blow everywhere
mylifeiscrazi 1
I didn't know this was possible lmao !!!!
ndiesal 0
YDI cause you could've sneezed into your other hand...your hands need washed anyway from wiping your ass...
hayride1987 0
i think your kind of missing the point...
beertime36 0
if your bf wants to give yo u dirty sanchez you can now decline by saying you already tried it and didn't like it.
Redjourney88 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!