Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
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Comments (194)
taylor225 0
wipe with your opposite hand? then you get it in your hand. odds are, if they do this they'll do that.
rooskieroo 0
hahaha..nice. #100 ..how old are you?
Mustardnight 3
Rofl at 53 and i havent even seen 2g1 cup!
muffinsareyummy 1
i was gonna pwn you so bad and rub your nose in it but you've already done that.
lamblover486 0
the doctor says, EWWWW there is no medication to make that memory go away
gabrieloch 0
u just got urself lucky!
UnluckyAsUsual 0
You cover your mouth when you sneeze? What's the point with that when it's through the nose? YDI for not letting go off the paper and x2 for sneezing on your hand...
alexFYL 11
I'm not sure I've ever sneezed through my nose, except when I'm sick and really snotty... spit always flies out of my mouth instead. I've always heard this is bad for you, but if I'm in important/formal public or wearing something nice, I pinch my nostrils shut and force my mouth shut to sneeze. *shrug*
yummylicious 5
fecal oral
queenofdeath 0
eew.. that's really nasty, and disgusting, and yucky.. eeeeew..! FYL!
myliferox247 0
ewww!!! idiot how can u not remember 2 let go off ur toilet paper?!