Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
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Comments (194)
curious_pegger 0
talk about a potty mouth..
Georgi74 0
ahahahahah even orbit wont save ur ass!
Imgonnadie_fml 0
hhahahahaah thats so gross!! FYL! loool i laughed sooo hard on that one!!!
dr_nuts 3
******* hilarious! AUTO-dirty sanchez, nice.
eeinna 0
do you not have two hands?? could of covered your mouth with the other hand.
noside1231 1
watd it taste like?
pianogirl12345 8
Ok, that's alittle gross..
Free_Candy 0
Aw shit!
Black_Letter 19
That's what the world needs more of: Recycling!
jdawg2010 0
potty mouth.