Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.
intensitive 11
That's quite nasty.
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Comments (194)
bumbum92 0
hahaha! thats disgusting! sucks for you
xgymchickx23 0
I think I just thrs up a little bit
mr_miyagi 0
you realize you have two hands, right?
painredefinedx6x 0
you fail
suckstosuck84 0
sucks to suck
Redjourney88 0
this is probably how swine flu started...and why youre supposed to sneeze into your ELBOW
hail_sheezer 0
whats so great about sneezing into your elbow? I can wash my hands much easier than I can my elbow. Is it acceptable to leave snot on your arm because it doesnt touch anyone? not really.
him51772 0
wow rly? not touching = not harming, not harming = not harmful, not harmful = no effect, need i continue genius
Carbonchild 0
So you now actually know what your own crap tastes like?
g7190g92 1
YDI for not sneezing into your elbow
Lil_guy 0
thats preety sick
NyronNosworthy 0
Early contender for the funniest thing I'll read this year.