Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
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Top comments
FireBug24_7 0
What. The. ****?!
mrahhhhh 21
At least he didn't show them his second head :|
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Comments (72)
psuboy 0
I just said this on another fml but I feel like repeating it: ah a roesthlisberger jersey! I didn't know if they existed anymore
lickmyjock 0
kinda creepy depending on how young you are.
alizzette_nabash 6
no offense but you're kinda creepy
INSAN3_Y1T3QBAN 0
ya I agree
FunkyAndFresh 7
I agree, but with the whole "no offence, but your creepy"
discrazypimp 0
haha, he should get that third nipple pierced. that'll be hella weird.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
You should have just laughed it off.
1personinthiswor 0
"Haha, oh daaaad, no one wants to see that! C'mon girls, let's go watch a movie." 0_e
yafuckyourlife 4
Awh. What a nice father you have.
Arsonnist 3
I guess he wanted some of your girlfriends.
CallMeHush 1
Be happy he didn't show off his undecended testical.
sourgirl101 29
I always heard that people with a third nipple can tell the future. I guess it's not true. lol Doesn't that mean that he was going to be a twin and his body consumed the other child in the womb? I'm off the Googles!
FirstBornUnicorn 0
I don't think Mark Wahlberg can see into the future. Maybe he is hiding something from us.
sourgirl101 29
Oh shoot that's right. I heard about him. Come on, come on, come on, he did know the the "vibration" was going to be good(:
Kanvis78 0
Did you watch Total Recall in the basement? :)
Tylerdude 0
Nasty