Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
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Top comments
lemoncows 2
dirty mouth? clean it up with orbit!
Valea_fml 9
Eww! Disgusting. FYL.
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Comments (186)
Pawned71 0
ROACHES ARE EVOLVING TO HATCH IN TERRAN THROATS
VianaJ_Garcia 14
Cucarachas for the win. Sorry, mate. It is just too funny.
Wondering1 0
Omfg !!!!!!
quraishakrueger 4
and this is why i never drink anything in the dark..
Wondering1 0
Man thats ******* gross!!!!id b so sketched out.
The1AndAnonymous 2
the average human swallows about 8 insects per year. they are attracted to the warmth of your breath. The more you know!
WeTheLiving 4
Eeeeewwwwww!!!!
ellielovesyuh 0
I would have had thrown up after seeing it come out if my mouth. :S that's disgusting. fyl.
ecoop2011 0
dude that is beyond vile...
dansco 25
Chew next time and it will be fine.