Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
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Top comments
thecowbellskit 0
i hate when that happens.
agsilver 14
Here's a tip, NOONE ******* CARES
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Comments (64)
The_9th_Doctor 18
surprise!
Wildghost123 13
get the **** out of the house
juanschwartz 18
Why is this so ******* hilarious to me
captainbrooks 6
Do you own a person?
mjponso 10
I have a sad story to tell you...it may hurt your feelings a bit...last night when I walked into my bathroom...I stepped in a big pile of SHAVING CREAM, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen!
sammberr 13
Hahaha!
herpderp1234 17
Most likely you left your back door or a window open/unlocked, making it very possible for anyone, human or animal, to gain entry to your home.
FweakofCydonia 40
Ghost dog?