Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going great, I was so happy, until he started talking non-stop about the extent of his foot fetish. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
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Top comments
lilbyrd43 0
A guy talking to you about another guy, masturbating? you pick the winners, don't you?
maskedman 9
I always thought masturbation was a pleasant topic.
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Comments (38)
SpyderMonkee 0
At least the guy wasn't behind you. You're crush would be the least of you're problems then.
tastycat 0
your
SpyderMonkee 0
Yeah... That "e" was just so tempting.
ipwnallmen 10
fap,fap,fap,fap,fap, blah,balh,blah, fabp fap fap. did it turn you on?
ApplePieHead 0
stop complaining and lend him a hand
what_the_fail 0
^^^ This ^^^
danielleFML 0
Well that was painful to read, but at least you know how to spell masturbation.
BeeSkwaird 0
Wasn't *he* the guy sitting in front of you? He was talking about his own masturbation problem? Context, OP! Context.
studentwoes 2
"Thinking it would be about something pleasant" is not a complete sentence. Maybe if you had better grammatical skills he would like you.
SpyderMonkee 0
Yeah, because all the guys go for bookworms and English majors.
cherylface 13
#24, I noticed that as well, and it was the reason I even went to the comments. #29, it doesn't take a bookworm or English major to know when something is a complete sentence or not. Basic sentence structure is a concept taught in elementary school. Frankly, any guy that can't complete his sentences is not one I want anyway.
mcicycool 0
I dnt think since masturbation is pleasant for yourself that it makes it a "pleasant" conversation to talk about... I think lol
corme_fml 0
so change the subject?
Loveya448 0
PleasAnt. Learn to spell correctly.
apfunction 0
thinking it would be about something pleasent is an incomplete sentence.