Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Did the class ask are you his mother or his Farter?
Mr_Satan 11
I certainly hope so. It's never okay to Pope little boys...
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Comments (86)
SaveCowEatCarrot 14
Well? Do you?
worldclassrager 41
At least he was honest right?
luckygirl76 2
I kind of like the buried comments.. it's like freaking Christmas. Open it up and it either makes you super happy or it's like you got a pair of socks. The teacher not being as anally retentive comment had me lmao!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Thank you. I try my best when it comes to crappy puns, and occasionally they're actually not crap. No puns intended here though lol.
Raykyogrou03 12
Well, at least he didn't say "I get disciplined a lot",
armyaggie 11
For the next several weeks be sure and check your desk chair before you sit down.
Vickyh46 8
Haha, oh wow. How embarrassing. It's all good though. At least you didn't actually fart in class. I did that once. So embarrassing.
legendxs 20
Bazinga!
fightingfu 5
Don't we all?
WICKEDxANGEL 13
it's the thought that counts at least....
Austin John Higgins 2
Wow