Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
It wasn't me
Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Daddy's in the shit again
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Toot etiquette
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
RIP
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Good boy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Did the class ask are you his mother or his Farter?
Mr_Satan 11
I certainly hope so. It's never okay to Pope little boys...
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Comments (86)
AboveAll04 14
at least he said u farted not sharted ! lol
illegalbeagle69 23
At least you didn't make a dumb comment.. oh wait...
nattynatters 14
Well maybe if you didn't fart so much. Let him know it bothered you and ask him to answer better next time.
Inediblepeaches 15
Because, you know, 10 year old boys are awesome people who will do *whatever* you say...
tygerarmy 35
Did the class ask are you his mother or his Farter?
Pleonasm 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At this point, it doesn't really matter what I say, everything is going to get downthumbed anyway. ... Gorgonzola!
PhotoSmith 25
I gave you a thumb up to soften the blow.
Enslaved 38
What a cheesy thing to say. You must be feeling bleu. ):
Catkam623 27
Hell I'm not his minion but I still thought it was funny as be embraced the down votes and made me laugh therefore you have my thumb good sir.
Pleonasm 36
Now, now, Noor, no need to be jealous, there are plenty of fans to go around on this site.
Pleonasm 36
All I'm getting over here is torrential rain.
Enslaved 38
No more "Hot For Teacher"? I know parents that get a kick out of embarrassing their kids. Sometimes the kids pay back in full. I'm sure your class thought it was funny and now view you as human vs a robot teacher that gives a ton of homework out. (:
rhysfucker 24
A nice, human, smelly teacher.
rfvyhn 14
10 years old? I'm sorry, but it's a parenting fail.
nnnope 26
how is the age of OP's son relevant...?
DollyDope 17
How lady like. You're a smelly example for your child.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Because ladies never fart, right?
nnnope 26
where's Bill Cosby when you need him?
PrincessPesa 20
I kinda hate that this was thumbed down with the rest of the mess. It's not a bad comment. Kids really do say the darnedest things!
BradTheBrony 19
Zip-zop-bibbity bop!
Bicko2004 25
Don't you just love the honesty of this boy.
maximus_prime 24
I guess you'll not going to make the TILF list this year OP.
maximus_prime 24
You're*
SystemofaBlink41 27
Unless they're into that stuff...