Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML
Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Did the class ask are you his mother or his Farter?
Mr_Satan 11
I certainly hope so. It's never okay to Pope little boys...
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Comments (86)
Ambiguous404 6
Almost everyone is getting raped in terms of thumbs! I'll probably join that list with this comment!
sexyboi1985 27
And this comment is just to get a badge unlocked ! Keep up with the thumbsdown... Yes yes, I mean keep down!
PrincessPesa 20
On FML, you rarely get what you ask for. It's like getting socks for Christmas sometimes.
seriouscat 11
Everybody farts.
Llama_Face89 34
I don't think I've ever seen so many buried comments on one FML..
rfvyhn 14
It's a flashmob.
Peacelove0404 26
Why are there so many buried comments?
Steffi 26
Everyone's angry so they're burring all they can.
flockz 20
everyone's angry so they're burring? well if must pretty damn cold if EVERYONE's burring.
DanqGirlxoxo 13
Someone is trolling with voting the comments a thumbs down , so let's give this a try , Sorry OP , but kids say the darndest things , and that's your story and your sticking to it !
buddy51 23
What a gas that must have been for you! YDI for raising a kid with no cognitive filters at all! Just wait until he's a teen and he steals your car to escape your constant gas warfare! Remember, the Geneva Convention forbids chemical or biological weapons, OP, and you're using both on your poor suffering son!!
lolfood 24
Why is everything thumbed down? O.o
MisterEx 28
Well, clearly, OP farted, so whoever is thumbing us all down, is trying to save us from toxics
freshko21 6
Every time you thumb me down, OP will fart on his ten year old's face. You cruel, cruel trolls.