Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
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Top comments
paigexox0 37
Thats...concerning. Also..really guys, first AND second comment?
poopsi 19
I don't know.. Seems like a good conversation starter to me.. :c
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Comments (73)
grapefruit_hd 7
Up vote this because I didn't have a bad pun
grapefruit_hd 7
It's how mi *** ur bich
martin8337 36
Fecalphiliac?
morbid1 2
copro
kenoswild 14
I wish I never woke up and read this. ...
Cagara_fml 10
where did you guys meet? in a rest room?!
jh921971 10
Sounds like this guy lost a bet
thetacoking 9
Wow, that's not something anyone should say out loud. Yikes!
orsombre_fml 11
I don't know if it is a good conversation starter but it should really work as a conversation ender.
vikky538 29
that's shitty... well at least now he knows what not to use for breaking ice...
Marielle_T 10
Even though it is a pretty gross conversation starter, that must be the most poectic way someone could describe poop smell!