Today, my biologist father had a slide show and speech prepared for my wedding. It started with, “40 years ago, there was a tree here”. I thought this would relate to me or the wedding at some point. 45 minutes later, I had to admit that it didn’t. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Today, I was asked to give a toast at my cousin’s wedding. Nervous, I copied a speech template I found online. Halfway through, the groom’s father interrupted me to say, “I read that exact speech on Pinterest.” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. FML
Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
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Top comments
Roxy Rousseau 11
When I read stories like these I understand why some brides insist on proof reading and approving the speeches ahead of time lol
tounces7 28
Man you can't just start a super fascinating-sounding story like that one and not tell us the rest!
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Comments (6)
Roxy Rousseau 11
When I read stories like these I understand why some brides insist on proof reading and approving the speeches ahead of time lol
tounces7 28
Man you can't just start a super fascinating-sounding story like that one and not tell us the rest!
Nic1330 5
yeah I want to know how the trees doing and if it's even still there
slowhandjp 18
What was it?
slowhandjp 18
What was it about?
spinspinsugar 12
my dad's wife did something similar at my wedding. she gave a pre-father-of-the-bride speech and we thought that was gonna relate to my husband taking good care of me like my dad did. nope. it was pretty much one big middle finger to my mom
Sady_Ct 38
I would have gotten up and taken the mic off her and made her sit down. How rude!
spinspinsugar 12
due to wedding bliss at first I wasn't sure what was going on until she stopped talking
JasonThorn 23
"Thank you, Dad, for that interesting speech, and I am sure everyone here hopes the Alzheimer's medication shows positive results soon."