Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent flowers to my ex, scheduled to be delivered after work in the evening. She texted me at midday thanking me for the flowers. I looked at my shipping order and they haven’t been sent yet. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML
Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML
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Top comments
hottay7164 18
Leave his stuff outside for when he gets back/ yard sale and change the locks. Cheating sucks. If you are not happy just leave, but don't stay with the jerk, makes you just as bad.
Quaileggs 12
Send him a message or call saying "don't even bother coming home" and pack his shit up
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Comments (105)
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Show up at his hotel. All lingeried up like you really want him and watch him crumble.
Jamerina3 10
take a picture of both bills with the caption "which ones were meant for me?" see what explanation he tries to use.
perdix 31
Send the floozy another bunch of flowers with the note: "He has herpes and farts in his sleep. Now that he is yours, good luck getting the skid marks out of his tighty-whities!"
simsgirlgem 25
send a picture of the bills and say I'm leaving you
grumpybr 13
I wonder if the bill was sent to you on purpose to open your eyes to what's going on.
BrotherTheo 31
Not for nothing but am I the *ONLY* one who would send a female friend who he hadn't seen in awhile flowers with a note that said 'can't wait to see you?' REALLY?
morella_xx 29
If she was just a friend there would be no reason to keep her a secret.
nikolkaw 9
Send him flowers with a tag saying "I can't wait to divorce you." ....
WonkeyDonkey 10
He's obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed (Aussie Slang for not very bright) sending the bill for both sets of flowers home to his wife. Personally I'd play dumb and start torturing the hell out of the asshole till the novelty has worn off. You don't need crap like him in your life, you deserve better ;)
ginawater19 13
Uhm I think we all know what "not the sharpest tool in the shed" means. Thank you.
Faff 20
in the UK this slang was so commonly used, it became a saying!
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, not the brightest bulb on the tree, not the brightest crayon in the box, sharp as a marble, any others?
unixdude 9
You are assuming she is a floozy. For all you know, you might be wife #2.
Jjan04 14
OP, i know it looks bad, but you have to trust that he wouldn't cheat. Trust makes a relationship. Maybe this "floozy" he is seeing is an old time friend or a family member or something like that. It doesn't necessarily have to be someone he is cheating on you with. Flowers and a note don't mean anything. A lot of people give flowers to old friends all the time. And he may be excited to reconnect! Just think positive. I don't have all the information, so i'm just assuming.
Cazz91 21
All though I see where you are coming from with your point, why would OP's husband feel the need to keep his "friend" a secret? The only reason I can think of for the husband to keep silent is if OP had a history or still is the jealous type that keeps her man on a short leash and doesn't allow him to have female friends especially. I don't think that is this the case with this FML but there is also not in depth details about her own personal problems either aside from what she had discovered with her husbands second set of flowers.