Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You know what bugs me? People who ask a question and then answer it themselves.
lelo007 11
It seems so many people jump straight into violence these days over the smallest matters, it's just ridiculous. I hope he at least apologized after being an ass, and also that your nose heals quickly!
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Comments (68)
delete_me 4
I want to comment but I just don't know what to say. So I came up with this. You know it's funny reading this to myself as I write it. Oh some kid on Facebook just accepted my friend request while I was writing this.
Therewhenneeded 16
I hope you recover ok and file charges against this asshat or at the very least, make a statement so SOMETHING is on file.
Bright_Lights 14
What's a butane lighter?
WritingWrongs 8
*Sizzle* "AAHAHA! My nose!"... *SWACK!* "AH, my nose too!"
wellthatsukx 0
What a fag.
edwardmammoth 1
Welp, you're a dumb dumb for not knowing what your lighter was. I hope your nose is sideways
captain__jj 5
OP knew what the lighter was. The other guy didn't.
bwzwally8 15
You shouldn't be so nosy it sometimes get you into trouble.
thebakingseal 22
Sue his ass