Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML
Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML
Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
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Top comments
iTzSelverZz 14
What a tasteless revenge.
foxwasalamb 24
why is nobody commenting on the amount of **** he would need for it to pass as Alfredo sauce?
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Comments (66)
miloch135 7
I moderated this!
Snowlightning 17
That's hilarious.
kernelkat 16
Passive aggressives suck. Or lick in this case.
milehigh52 22
Some people aren't after anything valuable. Some people just want to watch the world burn.
sdroze1389 31
isn't that a batman quote?
sha17 20
Rule Number One, NEVER trust anybody! :D
jenninator93 18
I thought rule #1 is don't talk about fight club.....
jigglypuff34 16
You should've just stared at her and eaten the entire bowl.
Flaming_Pandas 15
Once finished, do the "I'm watching you" finger thing and walk away.
obey_clarence 18
Tortilla chips have flavor??
kerstileann 26
doritos are tortilla chips.
Rawr6591 21
salty
redstone7693 29
that's cold
KaneHunter 22
Not that evil but who really has the time for that??
DolphinLaser23 24
Well it looks like she had a chip on her shoulder! Anybody... No? I'll show myself the door.