Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Chair club
Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML
Ultraviolence
Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML
Friendly fire
Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML
He started it, sorry
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
Today, I fell off my chair, then missed it completely trying to sit back down. FML
Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML
Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML
Domino effect
Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Top comments
bombtastic 10
What were you attempting to do besides sit on it?
Aeroxx1337 17
Don't worry. Here on FML, losing fights to inanimate objects is something of a routine occurrence.
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Comments (70)
eddeeezzyy 19
This is what happens when you mix PCP, Meth, Crack, Heroin, and Ecstasy together. Don't do drugs kids because one day if you do, you could be fighting with a lawn chair.
botanistjessica 24
Speaking from experience? That sounds pretty specific.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
How many beers have you had?!
mjt123 7
They're probably just forever alone.
abitabanana 8
I tend to lean more towards agreeing with Boltthesuperdog. See FUBAR the movie. Drunken fight with lawn chair.
abhi95 31
Different people are capable of doing different I've come to learn.. You just have to look for the right person for the right job.. For example.. This person here fights chairs!
SarcasticShade 16
Next time you need to just sit down and talk it out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
You should go see Mr.Miyagi maybe he can give you some wax on wax off techniques.
Iamatimelorddont 3
Why don't you have seat over the- oh wait. Sorry I'm joking.
deathstroke990 22
how.... how the hell did that happen?
MysticMonkey 9
It's now law of the land, soon we will all be fighting lawn chairs. Stay indoors everyone!
MountAndDoIt 9
Did anyone else think about Charlie Brown thanksgiving where snoopy fights with the lawn char? ..anyone? .. No?
carelessxdanger 9
its ok, OP. i'm sure you were just defending yourself and that the mean piece of furniture started it :P