Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML
Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
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Top comments
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
wow, that sucks. At least you didn't call out someone's name like your mom's, dog's, sister's etc...
FrootLoops_ 0
that must have been awkward afterwards :)
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Comments (294)
Night22_fml 4
I enjoy the monthly floor-sex too!
burttrub0 0
Just say you were doing the worm and play it off as if its been something youve been practicing, but you only wish it wasnt so awkward. And make jokes about it
merri_fml 0
You deserve that one. I've been hypnotized before and while I didn't necessarily CARE what I was doing, I was still able to maintain a level of control over myself. Deep down (even though you didn't want to admit it) you wanted to show the school that.
cstevanus 4
i have been hypnotized as well. and i had no control over myself. i didnt even know i was being hypnotized until i woke up.
PerditaDessa 38
260: You mustn't be too smart then. Hypnotism is nothing more than suggestions.
Thunk 0
Think of how much worse it could have been if you had whipped your schlong out and start whackin off.
imfromtexas02 0
dude that's hilarious
funsize003 0
just say you enjoy doing crunches, and happened to be laying on your face. :) or admit that you enjoy a good ****.
NoMercy_fml 0
Nothing wrong with that. I enjoy that too. The sex thing I mean. Not the floor thing. What did 23 say?
wowfmlife 0
#55 is right. That would've been epic
xmusik 0
I agree with #55. I was about to say the same thing. But you made it more amusing.
Tim3 0
At least you kept your pants on :)