Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML
Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
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Top comments
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
wow, that sucks. At least you didn't call out someone's name like your mom's, dog's, sister's etc...
FrootLoops_ 0
that must have been awkward afterwards :)
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Comments (294)
Juli_fml 0
this is why i never went onstage for a hypnotist show
malcolm1919 0
you should check for splinters
pwnage79 0
#4, how can he control that? thats not his fault
AmberHall 2
Maybe you should try cultivating strength of mind lol. No-one can be hypnotised against their will, and there is usually a subconscious measure of control. Perhaps rather than simply being 'floor-sexual' you have secret exhibitionist tendancies?
notlovingit 0
i was feeling upset 5 minutes ago but reading that i almost fell off my chair laughing embarrassing.... but you made my day
shadowsx1101 0
lmfao the floor must have enjoyed being humped :)
xo_emily_xo 0
lmfao #89. that is incrediblyy embarrassing though! i might die if i was a guy and that happened to me! or i might die again if that happened to me even though i'm a girl!!
xismex 0
Hehe
kawaiimomo 0
damn how are you ever gonna live this down?
kk3211 0
at least you didn't start masturbating....