Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML
Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
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Top comments
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
wow, that sucks. At least you didn't call out someone's name like your mom's, dog's, sister's etc...
FrootLoops_ 0
that must have been awkward afterwards :)
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Comments (294)
inflagranti 0
F the floor's life lol no seriously FYL
JessieRaye 0
*SNEEZE* sorry, I'm allergic to Bull Shit.
Kitty34_fml 0
There's nothing wrong with enjoying sex. How is this an FML? I don't know why people volunteer for these things anyway.
Pretty_Tied_Up_fml 0
yeah well "enjoying sex" isn't all that great in front of the whole school
kb26hockey 0
hahaha that's golden.
RedBlueGreenDot 0
LMFAO @ #23
Vocal1 0
what did it say?
disadvantage 0
Wow. So, you were 'hynotized' and that 'made you' hump the floor. Right. Hypnosis is bullshit. It is the power of suggestion. It can't make you do anything. You have to decide to do it.
FrootLoops_ 0
lmfao # 23 is amazing :)
Stephai 0
#23 FTW.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
#23 thats great and there was another FML like this before,,,, it was like; today while hypnotized at a school assembly "i" was asked who "i" thought was the hottest celebrity in the world and "i" said Michael Jackson
Luckster 0
You're gonna call the floor back, right? Or is this a one-night stand?
beccartist 1
win