Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found out that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML
Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML
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Top comments
xTheLittleLadx 0
Maybe you should hide it when you leave or buy your roommate one. Since you now know she likes using it too, you should buy a double headed one and enjoy =)
604 11
I vote that you should rub hot sauce all over it and let it dry so it's visually undetectable; then put it back where it was and go away for the weekend. With any luck at all, your roommate will be posting her story on here soon enough!
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Comments (74)
Butcher_1419 0
without pics, I don't believe you.
Sandrellae 0
rofl
brieanna101 0
that's so great! lol!!
brafry12997 0
I might stick it in her
safirestar09 0
This is the first, er, first comment that doesn't say "FIRST!!!!1one1!!!1!!seven" And, OP, keep in mind- it's good to share! =D
breenarae25 0
ew perv, jk jk. u funnay
bobby_blackhulk 0
Liess
Wankster 0
aha eww
crudeandrudeguy 29
Dear Penthouse forum....
chrismard 0
FIRST!!!!
Quinnjamin 0
eww thats nasty
tipsy2013 24
I read this is Cleveland's voice from family guy
xTheLittleLadx 0
Maybe you should hide it when you leave or buy your roommate one. Since you now know she likes using it too, you should buy a double headed one and enjoy =)
rhymethyme 0
Bid your "toy" adieu, And find something new. Though sharing is caring, Now it sucks to be you.
gotdapowa 0
win.
jakkanarchy 0
kick-ass win
morgan020 0
your personal one as opposed to the one you share? FHL for not knowing the difference. maybe you should buy a label maker with the money she's not stealing so next time she'll know which one she can use.
IceCream53423 0
ydi for calling it your "adult toy"
jinubean 0
-barf- Maybe instead of cameras, you should hide your toys? Or get rid of your room mate?
UMAD_fml 0
what's an adult toy? thx.
mazesm 11
a toy
KRYPTON1T3 5
a *****, I vibrator exc..