Today, my neighbor's dog came to visit and I tried to bring him back home like I usually do. Only this time, when I grabbed the dog's collar, they zapped him! And it zapped me! My teeth still hurt! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put his dog shock collar on me to wake me in lieu of my alarm. You know how those cartoon characters look when they're electrocuted? That's exactly how I woke up. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML
Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML
Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
Gooey 30
That's confusing. Was it a zap collar or some unfortunate static discharge?
RichardPencil 32
Nah. Humans are easier to train than dogs.
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Comments (3)
Gooey 30
That's confusing. Was it a zap collar or some unfortunate static discharge?
RichardPencil 32
Looks like the training collar worked. They trained you to not grab their dog by the neck! Bet you're not going to do that again.
SirSteamLocomotive 9
How about training the dog not to wander into other people's yards? That would be much more effective.
RichardPencil 32
Nah. Humans are easier to train than dogs.
ChipBoundary 9
Your mileage clearly differs in that regard. In my experience dogs are easier to train than the vast majority of humans, simply because dogs are more intelligent.
Chazzster 32
It’s actually simple - Leave your neighbor’s dog alone. Don’t feed it or pet it or talk to it and it won’t come over. It’s not your dog.