Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
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Top comments
Cookiee04 15
you should've said wish I had two moms instead
TheOnlyKittyKat 15
My dad used to say, "I was hoping for a son, then you grew up and I realized I had one."
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Comments (52)
0neiros 14
You should buy a strap on, and wear it in front of him (over your clothes of course), and ask him "Is this what you wanted Dad?"
AloysiusWeasley 15
That's great! xD
janscott1990 5
Don't worry OP. I'm sure he's just upset about his own personal failure. After all, he's the sole reason you're not a boy.
yerawizardlizzy 27
His name wouldn't happen to be Henry, would it? If it is, is he the eighth Henry in his family? How is your mother? Not suffering any neck pains, is she?
3262alex 13
Love the reference!!!! This is actually somehthing on this site that made me laugh
cartedor 18
tell him you are lesbian...that would cheer him up. :-P
limabeans101029 21
...Being a lesbian isn't equivalent to being a man.
lolzatyourprobz 12
The sperm determines the sex doesn't it? So it's his fault