Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML
Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML
Today, my coworker asked me for advice for a clever comeback after she got an unsolicited dick pic. I sent her some zingers to roast the creep into oblivion. Afterward she sent me screenshots. I recognized the mole and birthmark immediately. It was my husband. FML
Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML
Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
damnnn thats rough. forward her a breast enlargement offer
DarthFurby 0
Haha ouch. Kind of a bitch way to give you the hint.
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Comments (160)
Evilbeagle 0
I do hope that she was joking. I know I laughed.
genius_man16 1
Oh really #9? And how do you come to /that/ conclusion?
wowyoufail 2
Send back an email saying: **** you passive aggressive bitch.
xya943 0
Wow. What a bitch.
FYourSEXLYFE 0
#12 Because knowing how to use your dick makes for good sex. Obviously if your no good at sex, who ever is unsatisfied with your bad sex is "superficial". Everyone likes sex, I don't see the point of calling people out just cause your bad at it :)
spazmatic 0
lolol
zee209 0
I'm, pretty sure she's joking -_-
Sodam_INsane 0
yea she's just joking :P
maggy_fml 0
xD!!!! maybe your wife has a great sense of humor
aback 5
Refer her to a plastic surgeon. It's a lot less risky for her to get her cooter tightened up than it is for you to get your junk enhanced. Either that, or hand her a two-liter bottle to use as a *****. If you want to be nice, fill it with warm water, first.