Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML
Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML
Today, my coworker asked me for advice for a clever comeback after she got an unsolicited dick pic. I sent her some zingers to roast the creep into oblivion. Afterward she sent me screenshots. I recognized the mole and birthmark immediately. It was my husband. FML
Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML
Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
damnnn thats rough. forward her a breast enlargement offer
DarthFurby 0
Haha ouch. Kind of a bitch way to give you the hint.
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Comments (160)
UncleverName_FYL 0
#16 ignore the idiots you were on the right track and made the right call. #23 and 24 the point is, his wife has a preference, no one said he was bad or good at sex (STOP! jumping to conclusions) some girls just like it big regardless of performance, I wouldn’t consider her to be superficial because of it. I like it tight regardless of how well she can use it
whobutme23 0
That shit was actually hilarious.
LoveLessBeauty13 0
Lol that's kind of hilarious! But think of it this way, maybe she wasn't trying to be rude about it. It was just her way of kindly saying "Sorry dear, but it's just not cutting it anymore."
kandyjohnson 0
I'd ask her if she actually sent it to you and if she did that was just horribly mean!!! Let her know that your penis size may not be the issue, she may need a vag tuck!!
kk3211 0
what #8 said. um your name is Ariel. That is a girl's name.
CheezerX 0
i knew a guy named ariel so its not really jsut a girls name....but yea sux to be you
Ana_Aryani 0
hahaha ****** burn!!
SoccerPlaya17 0
lol #8!
jillz 0
I'm getting the feeling like the OP spends a lot of time sitting at his computer desk. So.. my money is with what kingbeau said.
freudianego 0
If she tells you to get a new penis, tell her to get a new house, new car, new source of income...