Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3 cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Good on you for taking matters in your hands and succeeding!
BradTheBrony 19
Huh? That's like missing a unicorn in a room full of potatoes!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
toxiksedation 5
I had something similar happen once, except that it was a splinter from a wooden skewer my dad used for kabobs. My mom heard eating bread usually helps but called ER anyway, which told me to come in. They did an X-ray, said they couldn't see anything and only AFTER that did they tell me "wood doesnt show up well on X-rays" they told me I was probably overreacting and it must just be a scratch, except that they *thought maybe* they saw "something." told me to go home and come back the next day if I still felt it. I did, until I ate a bagel that dislodged it and made it go away. For all of you that don't get the bread thing, my experience shows it does work and is way easier than tweezers. But to each their own. I hate how doctors take you're money, don't fix the problem, and tell you that you must be wrong about your own health.
eimiii_fml 0
That sucks but it would have made more sense to get it yourself in the first place, what could the doctor have done differently about a stuck fish bone? (unless obviously it was out of sight) To all the people saying taking the fish bone back as proof blahblah, it would be so easy for someone faking to do that in an attempt to get some kind of compensation so I think it would be pretty pointless as well.. On the bright side at least you no longer have a bone in your throat (lol) and have learned to chew your fish and not to be so literal on the whole boning thing! Nah but seriously at least your throat is clear :)
rhysfucker 24
I was hoping OP was from some Socialized Medicine country, but; alas...t'was not the case.
Trisha_aus 15
Well that was inspiring!
bcbaseball33 0
The question is, how did it get in there?
fromoverthere 7
sue
OffToTheGayBar 9
We all get bones in our mouth some time or another. Er..., chicken, fish bones, I mean. Coughcough, gruntgrunt, sparklesparkle.
lobum 12
This is why I'm a vegan. I have never choked on the bone of a potato.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
This reminds me of the time I broke my leg and got in a heated debate with the doctor on the subject of whether or not I should be feeling any pain. On a separate occasion, I had to explain the food allergy that had brought me to the ER. The doctor didn't know the word 'uvula'. Also debated whether it was as bad as all that. Being hooked up to an IV full of steroids and nearly suffocating to death..total hypochondriatic behaviour, apparently. I know, I know: "Cool story, bro." Some doctors are just ******* *****. They must've gone to the Patch Adams school of medicine. The Robin Williams one, not the real one.
nick94n 8
That awkward moment when you get a one inch bone stuck in your mouth..