Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
Today, I got back home to my completely locked-up apartment after a long and stressful family visit. On digging through my nice clean clothes for something comfy to change into, I was set upon and stung by a great dirty wasp hiding in there. How the fuck did it get in? Are there more of them in here with me?! FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
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Top comments
doubleAbattery 0
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! I'm a girl and I still cried inside a little at the thought of that!!!
dacman48 0
Bee job?
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Comments (114)
FKWL 0
Sympathy pains, man...and I'm a girl O_O
shockeyvz 0
"I'm gonna get that bastard back!" said the OP BEEgrudgingly.
tpag3r 0
ahah that was punny =]
Conkers 0
The power of puns will never be BEE-littled.
yellowaholic 25
But it's a hornet.
g00nie 0
I'm having a hard time believing this one. Were you showering outside or something?
aquaria 0
He could've had the bathroom window open...
AmericansAreDumb 0
Or he could have just recently pulled the towel from the line and trapped it inside without realizing.
quadracer111 0
You t-bagged a hornet!!!
10pm 0
yeah that does suck, but my god is that funny!
FarSide 23
Son Of A B*tch!! Mother F*cker!!! That hurt to just read.
MK1029 0
I always open towels up fully before using them, not to check for stuff in them but to place em over my head. OP got pwned.
mongoloid_fml 0
did it penetrate through to your ********?
madturk 0
Nasty!
Eelusive 0
Now that's nutty.
Caree 0
Ouch, that sucks. Though that was a little cheesy, the way you wrote it. No offense.