Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out how acidic some of the chemicals I work with are. After a chemical shower, minor burns, and having to throw away my clothes due to a biohazard, I had the pleasure of running across the parking lot to my car, wearing only a lab coat around my waist. FML
Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
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Top comments
fuzzyface73 2
Yeah, women just don't understand shrinkage.
RiverRelic 0
You have a pretty valid complaint to make to HR. Of course, you then have to keep reliving the humiliation but that was pretty unprofessional on her part. (You may also have misinterpretted her laughter. Was it from nervousness? Some people do that. )
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Comments (220)
gymbug_13 0
FIRST!!
tingting1 0
aren't you just so incredibly intelligent. congrats to you.
cherrypieguy 0
troll... FYL OP
bloodthorn 4
YDI for having a small penis
porp1 4
how do you know its small? maybe ts so big, shes wants to deep throat it and is giggling or maybe its rly big and reaches over to her and is tickling her
boysxrulex09 0
i agree, you do deserve it. small penis man.
raNDMGUy 5
i doubt a chick would just stare/laugh at your dick with your boss watching
Kiwi_Splash 0
Whatever happened to privacy?
z3r0ram 0
i used to use that stuff all the time at work i've gotten covered in that shit baking soda and vinegar neutralize it you got to be quick tho
asnider 0
Obviously, you've never been in a lab.
look_its_me 0
throw some on the coworker.
missmontreal97 4
6 made my day :D
breenarae25 0
he can't help it if he has a small penis !!
breenarae25 0
he can't help it if he has a small penis !!
breenarae25 0
he can't help it if he has a small penis !!
harmoo_fml 0
just be glad you're not in highschool. if you were you'd probably be on YouTube.
lotzofpoop 1
Kick that shitstain in the shitstain-maker.
roobz_fml 0
that sucks!
GoingCommando93 14
Dude, you don't have to get -completely- naked. The shower would get it off if you were still in your underwear. YDI one way or the other
Sinamoi 18
Wrong. In a situation where you spill any type of corrosive or dangerous chemical on you, you strip down completely and immediately clense yourself with the emergency shower. We were even required to do this in my Chem Class in high school should something go wrong.
TRAX_fml 0
Oh wow that sucks hahahahaha Shoulda asked the coworker to strip naked so you can mock her body
FML_Add1cT 0
Don't ask, throw some on get then laugh at her when she is on the same position hahaha.
hazelwolfeyes 0
#87 LOL! ^-^ what a bitch...she shouldnt have laughed... big or small...its part of the body... she needs to grow up instead of acting like an immature school girl... hope you came out okay... :)
dabomb467 6
That's what I was thinking!
CallMeTheHunter 0
fourth, bitch
iKaite 0
Lol... lets celebrate mediocrity in such a wonderful way.
ananamoose 0
for some people mediocrity is all they have so therefore, they must celebrate it with every ounce of passion they have, and i think that callmethehunter did it very well. congrats on your fourth place life callmethehunter, congrats that you accept being you and you know that you don't have to win to impress anyone. Seriously though iKatie, i laughed fricken hard when I read that
iKaite 0
Well, I do aim to please. *Hi5*
ananamoose 0
air5 that, nice work
warpedtourgurl 0
#168 - i believe your the idiot. He spilled a whole beaker full of that stuff all over his clothes. You spilled a tiny bit on your hands. #170 - he didnt say the hot co-worker was taking the shower. And also why would he say 'hot co-worker' if it wasnt a girl. im sure hes not gay.
joshman8000 1
you two are so gay get over yourselvs...
fuzzyface73 2
Yeah, women just don't understand shrinkage.
Finnboghi 0
I'm sure they would if their boobs were affected by temperature. :P But seriously OP, that was really unprofessional at her.
DameGreyWulf 1
Sounds more like the co-worker didn't understand penis flaccid size period. Though, then again, I personally might giggle at a large penis too, so maybe it wasn't necessarily that it was small? Though I suppose OP would ask for elaboration : "Why are you laughing?" "Your penis is small!" .... small or big, though, highly unprofessional indeed. OP's co-worker: people get naked. Grow up. OP, FYL for the spill, the strip, and the unprofessionalism. [edit] Oh, also, maybe the co-worker has only seen big manwhore penises? She may be comparing you all wrong. There is a lot of misconception about what a small penis is, so I hear.
blalien 0
Yeah, emergency showers are freaking cold. The OP is living out a very painful version of an episode of Seinfeld. Don't women research this kind of thing anyway? FYI for not having an emergency shower with a curtain.
DameGreyWulf 1
Eh... Nah, I don't think it'd be too common for women to research it. But ya know, I did anyway, so maybe. Well, unless you just mean about chicks knowing about shrinkage and flaccid =/= full length, then yeah, I really would think they'd know that. Unfortunately, not a lot of them do. Fairly sad.
lmmmr 0
Maybe she was just laughing because her coworker stripped naked and showered on the middle of the day. Depending on their dynamic/friendship, it could very well make sense.
DameGreyWulf 1
Well, obviously that could be a possibility, but like I said he could have asked why and she told him so. [shrugs]
Stunt_fml 5
I believe it's time to go buy the penis extension... Viper, Porsche, Ferrari, Lamborghini.... pick one and USE it.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
"... if their boobs were affected by temperature"? Seriously?! I really hope this is sarcasm. If it isn't, does the term "hard nipples" mean anything to you? The whole shape of the breast changes with temperature, too. At least, on real ones that is. And btw, as a general rule girls aren't super-intrigued by the penis itself. I doubt the laughing was about that. This is perhaps the only area where a guy's bodily insecurities can rival that of the average girl's.
starberries 0
Everyone knows about shrinkage. Why would you need to research it?
hellofml3739 5
I have to disagree with you there about the body insecurities. Yeah I am aware that some females are insecure about their bodies, but so are a lot of males. Especially in a society where if you don't have big muscles or a six pack then your weak and not masculine.
kmapes 0
Ahaha. HCl is no fun to work with. Just be more careful next time.
skiz_fml 0
I really wish it was dilluted
isthatmymuffin 0
"if i'm so unpleasant to look at, why don't i just spill this acid in your eyes so you don't have to see me anymore?"
XvxvX 0
Burned....
97currie 0
I see what you did there.
murderofcrows 0
I'm sorry that is awful and really sucks. Feel better and FYL for sure
MooLaw 0
Or whenever she leans over next look down at her breasts and start laughing