Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML
Today, I received a package at work. Thinking it was something I ordered, I opened it in front of my coworkers. It was a gift from my grandmother: a giant pink, “I Love My Grandson” T-shirt. The worst part? They insisted I put it on and take a picture to send to her. FML
Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The ugliness of some people never ceases to amaze me.
dude_itskayley 17
The fact that it's holiday season, and somebody who is supposed to be your family, can come up with disrespectful "gifts" like this is just a mystery to me.
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Comments (179)
bethjlster1999 8
Do as she said and go to the police station, but go with the note and her address and report her.
allplayedout 20
Jesus ******* Christ. Is there a way for you to completely cut off contact with this psycho bitch? She may be your wife's mother but she literally wishes death on you. She definitely couldn't be trusted with any kids yall might have. Block her number, block her on all technology, throw her mail straight in the fire? Gotta be something...
wildgenius 13
Put some pepper spray in it and blast her with it in a playful way.
chosha_fml 27
What a piece of shit. From now on just mark anything from her 'return to sender.'
nemcali 34
What a horrible woman she is. I bet you can get her fined for something...stupidity maybe :) sorry you had to put up with this nonsense
Polynomial 28
File for harassment, just to have it on record. If this is an ongoing thing, potentially file for a restraining order? While not a direct threat, it is obvious she wishes bodily harm on you.
mine___turtles10 13
Why did he deserve it? About 1000+ said he deserved it!
ajs1987 15
Buy her a big black ***** and send a note with it that says "take this big black dick and go **** yourself :)"
manlytarts 28
On the bright side, at least she didn't get the pleasure of seeing you open it.
blackkitteh69 3
What a bitch