Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML
Today, I received a package at work. Thinking it was something I ordered, I opened it in front of my coworkers. It was a gift from my grandmother: a giant pink, “I Love My Grandson” T-shirt. The worst part? They insisted I put it on and take a picture to send to her. FML
Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
The ugliness of some people never ceases to amaze me.
dude_itskayley 17
The fact that it's holiday season, and somebody who is supposed to be your family, can come up with disrespectful "gifts" like this is just a mystery to me.
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Comments (179)
Terrynics 8
That's so wrong on so many ******* levels. ?
Mrtigerblue 14
and of course it's from Texas.
tazmanmike2013 17
Your comment shows your ignorance. Texas being the largest state in the union and having 5 major metropolitan areas, is actually a very diverse place. I've seen more racism come from the so called "tolerant" areas of the country than I've seen down here. We all get along pretty well together.
amadisdemitrius 5
Please have your husband punk kick his mother in the face for all of us.
ChefEPL 9
That sucks, but on the bright side your wife probably hates her guys and married your black ass to piss her off
Nymeria_fml 25
Yeah, the bright side is that OP's spouse married him just to spite someone else... I guess that's good?
ViperSe 13
Am i the only one that is wondering that if she is your mother in law that means she is married to your dad... If you are black doesnt that mean that your dad is black? Or is your mom just black... And if so how can your dad put up with this hatred... This kinda shit never ceases to amuse me
TheLadyOpal 30
OP's mother-in-law is the mother of OP's spouse.
brewmasterg 34
You're thinking of 'step-mother'. Mother-in-law is your spouse's mother.
rocker_chick23 27
Am I the only one wondering if you were dropped on your head one to many times as a kid? A mother in law is the mother of the person you're marrying. A stepmother is the woman who isn't your mother which is married to your father.
numberswoman 14
Your spouse lets that vile bitch get away with this shit?
tptptp123 7
Thats ****** up on so many levels.
Parvati48 15
Wow that's so ****** up OP, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. :(
Badkarma4u 17
You should politely thank her, and remind her that you already have a squirt gun, and you use it on her daughter every night.
laden_swallow09 35
Ooooh, that's a gooooood 'un!
amileah13 26
That's terrible. Did your spouse say anything? The nerve of her to send that to you!!