Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, my husband forgot to log out of his laptop. Out of curiosity, I checked what was on the screen. It turns out he has his own blog where he shares all the intimate details about our sex life. FML
Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I discovered my husband of 8 years has been replying to an OnlyFans models pics on Twitter. Two weeks ago, I'd found his secret Instagram that only follows two OF models, and she's one of them. He also watches her on Twitch. He doesn't know I know. We've only had sex twice in the last year because he "doesn't think about sex." FML
Today, my ex-husband listed himself as “In a relationship” with the co-worker he constantly reassured me not to worry about on Facebook. The ink on our divorce paperwork hasn’t even dried yet. We had an amicable divorce because he “just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” Now I know why. I’m sick to my stomach. FML
Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Your life is sad not because your past sex life your ex-husband's stand-up material, but because you're still Googling him years after you two split up.
1215116a 14
"She sucks so bad! Literally!"
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Comments (131)
mk58 31
Just watch him fail miserably (hopefully). Maybe he'll run put of good material to make use of.
mk58 31
*out
aaronperez 0
and who is this comic may i ask?
Rickilynn1 10
no you may not ask , because OPs don't reply.
TheOtherMakona 0
20- Not entirely true. That's why they came up with the ribbon system. There's one for moderators and one for OP. One is red, the other blue. I forget which is which, though.
geeksaresexy 18
There you go #49.. OP ribbon must be blue :p
lajaynay 15
unless you're on a mobile app then you just never know unless you notice the username.
brenkite 5
louie from fx
rochelleh 11
well he can't be that famous or she would have known her ex husband was a stand up comic before she googled him:L
JipvS 15
Just one word: AUCH.
danielabella94 0
douche bag.
Rickilynn1 10
YDI for being a bad sexual partner.
Dasuss 11
Your face, goddammit!
adavis24 0
haha I hear I'm a god sexual partner (:
ReynshineCutting 10
And who's to say she is? Maybe he was bad in bed. Maybe their sex life wasn't all that bad but he's just making stuff up for his act. There's nothing saying she's bad in bed.
docscientist 10
What's the difference between my wife and a Llama? None, they both spit.
Lexi_Ray 5
have revenge become a stand up comic yourself and talk about his tiny penis :D
Rickilynn1 10
How do you know it's tiny ?
Lexi_Ray 5
I don't but revenge has no limits, even if it includes lying
Rickilynn1 10
but lying is a sin. better get your helmet, you're going to hell.
KoolKidFly 0
Maybe she's athiest and doesn't believe in your christian bullshit??
Lexi_Ray 5
thank you koolkid and I am an atheist haha
Dasuss 11
Why would she need a helmet?
Lexi_Ray 5
she assumes everyone wearing helmet goes to hell? idk
grapisy 8
Hell-met? Maybe it's a typo?
lajaynay 15
Dude, she's only 12. She shouldn't even know what a penis is, let alone be telling people theyre going to hell.
ReynshineCutting 10
Yes and Jesus created this whole idea called forgiveness of your sins so that if you do screw up as all humans do, you won't go to hell. (This is not to start a religious debate or offend any Atheists. This is to correct the young girl who doesn't fully understand her own religion. If she's not a Christian I apologize but I gather that she probably is based on her comment.)
Petunia888 13
Dumb Christians definitely give the rest of us a bad name. And the hypocrites. If you're gonna preach to someone (as a "Christian"), then you should know that judging someone else when you haven't got your shit together yet is also frowned upon. Christianity, to me, is more about cultivating love and a relationship with God, rather than trying to condemn everyone else. Please don't think all of us are the same because of the ignorant ones. P.S. Thanks a lot, kid.
ReTracingSteps 0
very nice
KoolKidFly 0
yw
Wombiacuit 0
Tgat IS good revenge xD
SomeGai 4
that*
Wombiacuit 0
How do you know this?
barlessprison 16
Did you even read the FML?
mismonroe 0
The best revenge is to prove him wrong. I've got a video camera and some free time.