Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML
Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML
Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
ragnarok1540 39
Borrow a life from your cat ... he's got nine anyway.
luther48 20
In the words of Ron Swanson, "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless."
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Comments (32)
399 41
Lol, so true.
honeymoonroyale 20
There's nothing wrong with kissing your own pet telling them you love them. Unless it's a fish. That's when it gets weird.
fullerkate3 17
One of the many reasons I hate cats
mfmylifesrsly 30
Yeah because dogs and other pets don't ever sneeze.
kingdomgirl94 29
My rat sneezes on me all the time, but only when she's outside her cage. I think she's allergic to humans.
Anushka_fml 13
I have the same issue. Though my cat uses his sneezing as a weapon. He will sit on my bed while I sleep and sneeze in my face if he gets bored.
wanted_2_want 40
Your cat may be allergic to you!!
shady914 14
My dog does this to me on a daily basis lol
MamaChey 24
That's a new one, usually it's the human allergic to the cat, not the other way around!
ALittleFreak 15
You don't need a life OP! Animals are a blessing. However they can be gross. My kitty always sleeps on my chest while I sleep and he puts his paws on my mouth, I've had litter on my lips before. God bless crazy cat ladies.
shepardkinz 19
My cats have done the same thing to me. It's not a pleasant experience.
Bekll 31
I had a cat who sneezed for all 14 years of her life and, yes, directly onto people's faces. One of my current cats sprays everywhere and has done it directly on me twice. If you have cats you have to accept these things happen. But you still love them.