Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML
Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML
Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML
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Top comments
WR4 10
That's probably not a healthy relationship to have with your headphones...
subwaysurfers 13
Okay, FML's 5th birthday. I'm sorry fml website. I forget my family's birthday sometimes so I hope we can put this behind. I really cannot go a day without you. Forgive me.
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Comments (72)
9eberra1 6
Time to buy clothes made out of real materials!!! Start with cotton and elastic
emchege 8
So you can say that you have a shocking personality 8^)
wizardofozzy68 7
I have a similar problem. My girlfriend told me to buy a rubber bracelet and keep it in contact with my skin. Not sure if it works yet because it hasn't arrived from Amazon, but I'll make the same recommendation. She swears that it works for her and she never gets shocked.
buttcramp 21
every time I get out of my car and shut the door behind me, I get shocked. I feel your pain lol perhaps new headphones?
romans71220 2
I have the same issue I get shocked anytime I touch anything
redbluegreen 41
Maybe it's your superpower.
barricadebabe 15
5ML?
legs666 10
your speakers are going. it has nothing to do with static electricity. go to the dollar store or something and buy a cheap pair. or just spend the money at Wal-Mart and get a decent pair.
False_Stupidity 42
This is horrible, OP should be charged...
Exzarbloch 4
This always happens to me. I find it depends on the construction of the headphones. I have all metal skullcandies, and they shock me all the time. But if i were to use plastic ones from anywhere, they don't, unless they're really broken.
Kenton1008 21
Stop dragging your feet.