Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML
Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML
Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML
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Top comments
WR4 10
That's probably not a healthy relationship to have with your headphones...
subwaysurfers 13
Okay, FML's 5th birthday. I'm sorry fml website. I forget my family's birthday sometimes so I hope we can put this behind. I really cannot go a day without you. Forgive me.
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Comments (72)
XboxOneGodess 8
does any one else realize it says "5ML" instead of "FML"? Just saying.
TallMist 32
So, you are either Static Shock or Elemental HERO Sparkman. Which is it, OP? Which is it?
Leo_lady69 3
5ml????
Violord 13
I do that in the winter too
AwkwardBookworm 27
That sucks, OP. I used to always get shocked when I was on a trampoline.
chipmunk0305 13
I get the same thing whenever I touch anything metal