Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
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Top comments
the_stereotype 0
we all have our ways of coping...? if it helps, get visa papers for a foreign country and tell her you're filling them out so you can remember the reasons you want to get away from her
hahathatsux 0
you should get a membership to a dating site and when she asks why say if she's that prepared to divorce you you should be equally prepared to find someone who isn't a total bitch
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Comments (116)
hahathatsux 0
you should get a membership to a dating site and when she asks why say if she's that prepared to divorce you you should be equally prepared to find someone who isn't a total bitch
Starchild21 3
Wow shows how much confidence she has in the relationship haha
drummer_dude 0
Win
angryseatroll 5
Ouch
Intoxicunt 6
She's working on improving the relationship by examining what pisses her off. Thank her. (And to counter the misogynistic comment a few above me)... While you're at it, rub the woman's back! She works hard cleaning your nasty underwear!
feminist19 0
15 your wifes papers probably say 1 sexist pig 2 microscopic penis 3 bigger **** than me
Starchild21 3
lol I doubt she's doing that as a way to improve the relationship, I mean would you use divorce papers to convey that? And what makes you think he doesn't do his own laundry? lol _________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Intoxicunt 6
1-I never said the divorce papers convey that to someone ELSE. I meant, she writes it out in a divorce paper while she's pissed. Next morning (or whenever she's calm), she reads it over to decide whether it's just childish to divorce over that, or whether it's valid. 2-It was a joke, dear. It's my counter for "make me a sammich".
YDIBITCHES 0
No one (nobody can spell it right) cares about you're ******* myspace
Intoxicunt 6
Hey, spelling nazi, it's "y-o-u-r". "You're" means "you are".
screwtaylor 0
Hahahhahaha. I love how people try to insult others when they can't even spell correctly.
Starchild21 3
Lol that was pretty hilarious. Anyway the husband has a right to be so intimidated though, considering they probably don't work out an issue and she goes straight to the papers. It's enough to show that there isn't much confidence in the relationship. And just to piss the trolls off; _______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
Intoxicunt 6
Screwtaylor, me too! I get giddy at the sight of people doing that. :) Starchild21, sure, he should be intimidated, but I don't think it's a sign of the end. I used to do things like rant, snatch down all pictures of a boyfriend, etc. when they pissed me off. That way, when I calm down, I can replay my actions in my head and tell myself, "You overreacted. It's over. Let's move on." Plus, it helps get it out of your system. Also to piss the trolls off: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/Intoxicunt :)
tubesocks_ 0
That's how i understood it #21.
feminist19 0
y? people dont cum on here to read perfectly spelt words an well articulated sentenses. they jus cum to discuss things an giv there views? wats wrong wit that
pshnoway 0
What does it matter if they spell everything correctly? Unless it's a major error that completely compromises the meaning of the message, the advice is still the same, just one letter off. I can't stand grammar nazis they take all of the fun out of this site.
PlasmaFox 0
Here, let me fix your sentence for you: "Why? People don't come on here to read perfectly spelled words and well-articulated sentences. They just come to discuss things and give their views. What's wrong with that?"
feminist19 0
congartulaitons on wastin ur time doin that, did that make ur day, u'd be beter off on mylifeisapieceofshit.com
pshnoway 0
Wow, really PlasmaFox? Did that make you feel smarter? You know how to spell, congratulations for paying attention in first grade English.
feminist19 0
y not write original poster intead of OP, that just makes u luk like a lazy moron. also well done starting the last section with the word AND
DancerLover08 0
Why not write "why" instead of "y" and "look" instead of "luk"; that just makes you look like a lazy moron.
mina_8 0
Also, typing "cum" instead of "come" could be easily misinterpreted.
Bart_Oranje 0
OP is a recognized, well known short form. Using terms like OP eliminates more letters than things like "y" ever would. You just look like an uneducated idiot if you start typing like that. Not to mention it's ******* annoying to decipher when it is all you do.
elisa_sanchez91 0
aw poor you. =/
9k5 0
I'm not saying you deserved this, or she was in the right, but why were you on your wives computer? If she lent it to you, that's one thing, but if you were just spying on her... Don't look for something bad and say "**** my life" if you find it.
asherah14 7
I don't think most married couples have their own computer but if they do their spouse should be allowed to use it. Marriage is all about trust so if things are off limits then there are problems forming in the relationship. My husband and I have one computer and there isn't anything hidden from each other.
FoundManyLemons 0
Start an ashleymadison account and add some favorites, and tell her "Well, when you decide to finally fill it out, I'd like to have options."
mo_the_owl 0
thats a terrible idea. what is she thinkimg?
captainamerica50 0
Lol the feminists here trying to defend the wife's juvenile and disrespectful behavior just because she's a woman are hilarious. If it was the other way around they'd be singing a different tune because they arn't free thinkers, just siding with the person who has a ******. The guy's wife needs to grow up, or she might soon find herself with that divorce she wants.