Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML
Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I saw a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Thinking it was a matter of lack of discipline, I waited for the kid’s mother to come out of the bathroom to tell her how naughty her son was being. I then got to watch her beat her son to the point of unconsciousness. FML
Today, my daughter took her ex to court for child support. After the judge was done, she ended up having to pay support to him, and since she was the one who took him to court just for money, her ex now hates her and will make sure to collect every penny he’s owed, even though she only works part time. FML
Today, my year and a half old daughter has discovered the joy of temper tantrums. She is now throwing them constantly. Everywhere. Anytime. FML
Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year-old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
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Top comments
jaydnnx 0
WTF? hahah. that would be quite annoying, I wouldn't take her.
maskedman 9
is this a new form of child support?
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Comments (92)
pointofthesun 1
u probobly deserved it for making ur ex's life suck I hope ur pain never ends
in_the_dark 0
Except I didn't do anything to make his life suck, he did that all on his own. ;)
kira822_fml 0
Give her five dollars to shit on your ex's carpet.
mollymaykitty 0
she's a little money maker. You should charge her $2 for every one that way you both make a profit off your ex-husbands idea.
perdix 31
The bounty is $20 when she walks in on you and your new boyfriend.
in_the_dark 0
Well, ignoring the fact that my fiance is in the NWT right now, locks were made for a reason. :P
perdix 31
He'll train her to pick locks and up it to $20.50. ;)
in_the_dark 0
That's part of her punishment, limited outings. He only gets to see her every other weekend as it is and she loves her dad so I wouldn't want to make it hard on her. Plus he's pretty manipulative so I could see him somehow turning it around on me if I tried to.
in_the_dark 0
Shoot.. I'll just have to make her bracelets and anklets out of bells for when she is home. ;) Edit: This was supposed to be in reply to perdix.
perdix 31
Hey, in_the_dark, I'll make you a deal: Point me to a bar where your ex hangs out. For 5 bucks (US) and all the Diet Cokes I can drink, every time he starts to hit on a girl, I'll walk up to them and say, "Hey, aren't you the guy with the freakishly tiny penis?" (Or any other phrase you pump me with.) A little pricier than 3 Canadian dollars a tantrum, but well worth it, I should imagine. Do we have a deal?
in_the_dark 0
Hahaha, well.. I already have a large supply of diet coke!
perdix 31
Nice, but bars rarely let you BYODC. Do you like my "phrase that pays" or would you suggest a different one?
in_the_dark 0
Hahaha, I guss you are right. It's a pretty good phrase, but maybe something that involves using his name might be better, that way, the girl thinks you know him! Hahaha, as funny as this is though I'm sure he's not even allowed to go to a bar. His new wife is pretty paranoid.. no wonder though.
I_am_stupid_also 6
ohhhhhh, Sorry about your little girl, but bribery is the least of your worries. Time to start teaching her about guys. In this case, tell her that if she wants a new Wii or whatever, she can just tell your ex that either she gets one or she mentions to his new wife about how daddy likes his new girlfriend better.
perdix 31
OK, in_the_dark, new deal. I didn't know he already married again. This one will set you back, 8 US dollars and I'll help myself to your stash of Diet Cokes. You give me his name and address, and I will put on a tranny outfit, barge into his house when the hosebag wife is there, and act like a she-male hooker and tell him that I just tested positive for anal warts and he may want to get himself checked out. All for 8 bucks! I'm only doing this because you are an FMLer. Deal?
SephoraSocialite 0
how about OP outsmart your husband and give your kid more money to do it back to him. he's a dick for that. nothing is more embarassing than out of control kids.
SirRender 0
The Bright Side: She has her own money.
julesxox_fml 0
one word: payback!
BurnedByLove 0
#17 is pure win.