Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML
Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML
Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WeeWizeL 0
So, what's all the buzz about?
TurkeyBaconLovin 0
didnt notice the smell?!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
ccnavi 0
To Do List: • Tell on your sister • Make your parents buy you a new phone (-18) • keep your phone in your pocket or hidden at all times
mona_is_here 10
When I was 12, I didn't think about sex at all. Or pleasuring myself, especially in such an extraordinary way. Kids these days...
juggaletteninja 0
at least it wasn't your toothbrush, eh?
JacksonHorton 0
can I **** her?
goddess_darkness 0
sick bastard!!!!!
BIGshooter 2
buy that little horn dog a jack rabbit vibrator and tell her to **** off.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
An ****** a day keeps the doctor away!
x7jdawg7x 0
damn that's sexy :D. but I've been masturbating since I was 7 so wats the big deal?
droidfreak 0
lmao....that's awesome!!
Gabbymcbride 2
Ppl how do you know OP is a girl, and how do you know the younger sister was twelve? but yeah, this is a total FML.
Alwayzbored1085 14
When the FML was originally posted, it said "my 12 yr old sister." Not exactly sure why it got moderated.
tatit 0
I read this post earlier and I think I was disturbed by it being posted. Anyway, I work in child psychology with high risk youth, so I felt compelled to offer my two cents. We actually begin masturbating around 18 months. A mastubating 12 year old, girl, is actually quite normal behaviour. It sounds perverted when posted for all the world to read. As an older sibling, make sure the lines of communication are open. She will want to begin experimenting with a partner soon.