Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML
Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML
Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
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Top comments
thaliah 15
Kick your brother's ass and dump the girl.
famvd 15
I'm assuming the squeaking sound is coming from the bed, not the brother...
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Comments (149)
rosco98 16
Well then at least you can keep the Guinea pig
olpally 33
Just go in there and throw them off the bed and dump the bitch and kick your brother in the balls. That's pathetic.
A_Perfect_Circle 12
Screw that noise
chaoss10 18
U need to dump the girl and teach ur brother a lesson n throw that squeaky bed of his out
Ki11erC 18
Why throw the bed out? So next time it happens he can't get caught? Maybe throw the brother out though, after a severe beating.
Inuyasha843 12
All I will say next time go in there throw either hot or ice cold water on them and leave dump her and figure something out evil for ur brother I'm sorry op
HeyTherexxx 21
Hopefully OP kicked them both to the curb and won't be witnessing/hearing a next time.
iann32 10
why not both!
egrudy 9
It's hard losing a brother and a girlfriend in the same day. But there is no forgiveness for betrayal... Period! Sorry for your losses sir.
thecalvin123 21
Is there no such thing as family loyalty anymore?
sunnyray812 42
Not on FML.
glabberfasted 16
She seems pretty loyal to this family in particular.
MrDonSalvetti 27
I would beat the shit out of your brother and than dump that bitch! But first, go and buy a new bed...
FlyingPie 17
Assuming you live with your brother (which it sounds like), I think it would be appropriate to kick your brother out (or move out if the place is his); also, dump your girlfriend.
mattjamt 16
Most likely, it is his parents house. In which case, he can't kick him out, and if underage, can't move out.
FlyingPie 17
It doesn't say his age or situation in that regard, so it's pretty hard to know.
kevinnicki4life 9
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!