Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML
Today, I figured out my girlfriend's mother has various nicknames for me. My girlfriend and her family are from Poland and speak on the phone in their native tongue, but they don’t know I’ve been learning the language either. I heard her call me “idiot”, “loser”, “moron” and various other “nicknames” multiple times. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, my mother who learned English as an adult sent an email to my boss, thanking them for hiring me even though I'm "retarded." I’m a law school graduate who was diagnosed with a minor learning disability in kindergarten, but she still calls me "retarded" when speaking English. FML
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
Today, I discovered that my cool, unique first name translates to "unwanted" in Hindi. Both my parents studied abroad in India for five years. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
Mother knows best?
DocBastard 40
Better than "Big Retard", I suppose.
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Comments (124)
tararochelle 18
It's not as uncommon as you may think. I know someone who's mom called him something along the lines of ******** in Arabic, and he didn't learn this until recently.
JJ_86 22
Maybe you did something stupid (but cute) as a child and your mom called you that and stuck with the name since it sounded sweet. As long as she didn't do it in an offensive manner, I wouldn't be bothered much.
vlalam 24
lol... troll mother or trolling kid?
beaverteaser 16
my grandpa used to call me candy ass....
RedPillSucks 33
Yikes, and your name is beaverteaser? What was your grandpas nickname? Chester?
Ben009 13
That bitch!
barfcannon 24
My dad affectionately refers to me as "baby toad" in Italian. Not too sure what I did to deserve that.
Bentonic 11
Well, I can see how that nickname could be affectionate, but any way I look at it, the nickname 'little retard' doesn't seem affectionate at all.
barfcannon 24
It's all about inflection. I have a nephew whose nickname is GB. It stands for goofy bastard because he was a silly baby and he also came unplanned at a time when my brother and his girlfriend were trying to claw their way out of student loan debt. Little GB is the cutest guy however and we all love him dearly. He just had a mean nickname.
cwaziemamma 16
Thank god I have no nickname except my initials~ hb
martin8337 36
My dad called me little retard in English. Then he'd hit me in the head whenever I ****** up.
Alchemist_21 26
I activate my spell card, Dignity of the Retarded!
norpedo 16
Well at least it was lovingly