Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for changing my phone's password, like I thought she would try to access my phone without telling me. When I pointed out she could only know I changed it by trying to unlock it behind my back, she took the sandwich I'd just made and fed it to the dog. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
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Top comments
InfiniteSunshine 32
I actually think she lost both here. What she did is awful and shows she's just vindictive and petty. She resorts to revenge tactics, instead of expressing her feelings and talking about them like an adult, that's incredibly unhealthy. I've met children more mature than that. This is just so gross, I'd get new pillows.
cocacola999 27
She still has to sleep in the same bed with dog cum, so it seems like a pyrrhic victory.
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Comments (46)
BLUEGT500 2
Wait.. your dog jacks off?
praisejeebus 6
What a dirty bitch!
EmDizzle2007 28
but... it has no thumbs.
cannbend 11
Side note but the dog should get fixed too. Obviously after the gf is dumped. Good luck!
1203Robert 0
Uh, yeah. If you think your dog is jacking off and she's not helping it do something it couldn't otherwise physically do, you deserve it. ?