Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I was making mashed potatoes in a hurry, I had the pot boiling on high when I had to rush to the bathroom. As I'm walking away, I ask my boyfriend to watch the potatoes. When I returned, they were no longer boiling and he proudly announced he added cold water because they looked a little dry. What? FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
I'd say have a glass of wine and mull it over, but that might just get you thinking of how those grapes were crushed.
mangoboy1 19
Get tested.
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Comments (156)
Trickiest_K 9
Sexy ;)
garrett1999o3 16
Society these days..... -_-
andyyroxx 20
They would become arch-enemies. Bad things may be afoot - you need to have more options.
FitForFun 11
Not that anyone would remember, but wasn't this the basis of one of the proud family cartoon episodes? I remember it when I was little watching cartoons.
frethelt 3
lol.. i think i remember that episode lol.. very vaguely...
andyyroxx 20
******* APP is totally ruining my day... I'm just going to leave now. Was supposed to be a response to the comment #20.
Nm_fml 10
That is so disgusting!!
still_guns 16
ughughughughughughugh
beanthemouse 13
Foot fungus, dirty floor which has who knows what bacteria on it, toe nails that could have dirt in them, sweat and dead skin cells... Yeaa.... Really healthy...
BadKitty13 28
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !
Epikouros 32
Now you know why your wife eats a salad instead of potatoes. It's not to watch her weight.
sammyjanette 17
If you made your own meals you wouldn't have to worry about this problem...
upallnight11 19
Ain't nobody got time for that!