Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
Today, I heard my son use the word "exacerbated". I had to look it up to see if he had correctly used it, which he had, because I couldn't remember what it meant. I'll be 23 next week. He's not even 4. FML
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
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Top comments
Catdragon 40
Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass.
BloodyMary666 24
What the hell was he writing about?
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Comments (36)
readingrachel 9
Yo hamlet was on fleek #harambe
iLoveCars 18
That's a stale meme...
GhostFox 34
This just reminds me of the second college English course I took, and about half the essays sounded like- to quote the teacher who is otherwise a sweet if slightly nutty old lady- they were "written by primary school children who ignored the given prompt." That class was cringey to sit through on days where we read out essays.