Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML
Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML
Today my boyfriend overeats when he is upset, and normally keeps tight hold of his diet to control his weight. He assures me he’s happy about it, but since I told him I’m pregnant 3 weeks ago, he’s put on 28 pounds. FML
Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML
Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, yet again. my boyfriend told me I'm getting fat, even after I told him to stop and that it's affecting my mental health. I had an eating disorder previously, and now I'm thinking about going back to just eating an apple a day. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I suggest you tape the ultrasound to his forehead.
bott_fml 4
Sounds like you're going to have to point it out to him. Your husband doesn't seem too bright.
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Comments (108)
sikunt89_fml 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha it may have been a joke. My friend used to say to his GF "you have 5 months to lose the weight or I'm out of here!"
fml121785 14
I'm sure you two get all the ladies, huh?
sikunt89_fml 16
Well I'm not a lesbian but I bet I could get some ladies if I tried. He clearly has a GF.. he said that when she was 4 months pregnant.. hence the joke.
buckley91 9
"Hence" not many women can have a baby and go home from the hospital in their size 2 jeans.
lonelyman36 12
Dude, not funny.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I had a friend who throughout the last trimester of his wife's pregnancy would always joke with his wife by coming up to her, dramatically pointing at her womb, and triumphantly saying "Yo mama's so fat...!"
waffule365 16
Insensitivity FTL
bott_fml 4
Sounds like you're going to have to point it out to him. Your husband doesn't seem too bright.
lonelyman36 12
If men were bright we wouldn't have wars, republicans or a need for a gun control debate.
jem970 19
Wow really? Just shut up.
IworkAt711 14
Dont bring politics into this.
Shade1982 21
And women never fight at all? Really?
Welshite 40
I suggest you tape the ultrasound to his forehead.
crazytwinsmom 25
Staple it.
aingeal_23 8
I suggest stapling it to his forehead. Maybe that will get the point across. EDIT: damn, did not see someone beat me to it.
kawaiichick 9
Or more like to his ding-a-ling as a damn good reminder.
TcheQ 12
Skin*
zilla52 12
sounds like a real winner
error404n0tf0und 21
use it to show you haven't been eating junk food
HooyoMacaan 7
"The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge." Does he know your pregnant? Lol the way you wrote this sounds odd to me. But he is your husband so communicate with him. :)
Welshite 40
OP: Honey, I'm pregnant. Husband: Oh my god, how did this happen?!?! OP: Well, you see, when a man and woman love each other very much... Husband: I know this part! You swallowed a watermelon seed! OP: Not quite...
wethejackie 8
you're*
error404n0tf0und 21
ignore my last comment , I missread the FML
oj101 33
Your husband is right! Kate Middleton still manages to be skinny. How inconsiderate of you to voluntarily grow a bump! Do you not want to please your man? Take control of yourself! *satire*
Abbbiiieeeeeeeee 16
But you don't know how many months gone OP is. Also, Kate Middleton was slim to begin with. Slimmer people tend to hold the baby weight better, in my opinion.
OhDearBetrayal 25
Just saying though genetics have to do with it, too. Kate Middleton's mom made a statement a while back saying that her daughter is like her because she herself didn't start showing and wearing maternity clothes until a week or so before she gave birth. We can look at Kim Kardashian and see that some people start showing much earlier.
MissMae93 23
11 & 18 - I think the joke went WAY over both your heads...
OhDearBetrayal 25
42- I'm sorry but did I bitch at 9 about his joke? I don't think so. I got the joke but I just thought having a conversation on it would have been nice. I guess some people just expect endless jokes to ensure after someone makes one sarcastic comment.
Elfkid21 19
agreed!!
Abbbiiieeeeeeeee 16
He isn't the most observant husband, is he. :')